Friday, June 24, 2011

2 post in one month? whaaaaat?

lol Life continues to be crazy. That not any ones fault really. I do tend to bite off more then I can chew. But I like keeping busy. I would rather be too busy then not have enough going on. Thats just how I am.

A couple of things I want to mention:
I am finally getting my handmade shop up and running. My GRAND OPENING is schedule for JULY 1! I am SO excited. I have been working on and off on RandomAnn designs since I was a teenager. But I finally made it a priority and made some measurable progress on it. You can learn more about it here :)

It had been crazy crazy. I went to go see my little sister graduate this past weekend which was great. It was awesome to see my crazy family and get to spend some time with them.

I was sick earlier this week which was not fun at all. I dont call off work for many things but thats just how down I was. I am better now. Still congested but better.

I have had a lot on my mind lately. Prayers are appreciated. Prayers for clarity and assurance. More about this later.

That's all for now family and friends.

LDJE

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Crazy life - June Edition

I am happy to report that things have been going fairly well. As mentioned in my last post I have indeed proven my worth at the new job. This past week I even got over time working about 47 hours. They have realized that my strength is closing so I am predominantly on that shift. This is convenient for both them and me. It is convenient for me because I am a night owl, I would much rather stay up late then get up early. (I also like it cause I get to work with fewer customers and I have a set focused task to do) Most people complain about working closing shift because you are there late and it is a decent amount of work. But I like it because it is generally more relaxed. It is convenient for them because they have had 4 closers quit or get fired last week.

ANYWAY. . . Clint finished up school with all A's and B's and I am ever so proud of him. It was not easy for him working 5 nights a week in Fort Wayne and going to school full-time. But he managed to do it and I am just so proud of him. For the summer he is still working in fort wayne while seeking another job, ideally closer to home. Prayers appreciated for us both but particularly that he finds a job closer to home.

School for me continues to be hectic but worth it. I recently received two certificates for parts of the program I am in and it was encouraging to see my hard work start to pay off. Though the full diploma will be and even greater encouragement. I am still working thru the summer but I went down to 15 credits because one of the classes had some deadlines that I just could not work out with everything else. Still on pace though to graduate next year though :D

We were finally able to get internet so doing my homework has become so much easier. Considering I can even do it when I get home from work if i care to do so. We also got Netflix. Which leads me to the fun part of this post.

I have a To-See list a mile long. But thanks to Netflix I am able to finally start working away at it. This is my list of movies and tv shows that I want to see. I will be posting my thoughts on the things I watch so stay tuned for those fun posts. (Not really formal reviews just my thoughts)

And to start out with I watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.
In a sentence I LOVED it! I am a huge Firefly/ Joss Whedon fan. Nathan Fillion made a hysterical over the top character. Neil Patrick Harris was just plain hysterical as Dr. Horrible. And Felicia Day is just adorable and she is awesome in both this and The Guild though I had never heard of her before watching the latter. The movie in general was just funny, though the ending was a bit sad (no spoilers here). But yes I loved it and it has now moved to my "To- Own" list, which is probably just as long as my To-See list.


Yes, I know I am ridiculous. That's why you keep reading. Ha! Got ya there now dont I?

More movie and tv show thoughts to come!
Toodles

LDJE


Sunday, May 8, 2011

new stuff exciting stuff .. can we all say yay?!?!?!

Hello all,

Sorry for the delay since my last post. Life continues to be crazy but I push on to live not just exist.

Happy #1 -
I got the job at mcdonalds. My favorite? no, but it will do for now. I am not having the issues I had at BK so in that I am very happy. I know that I have made a decent impression on my new managers as my hours have gone steadily up. From training week of 10 scheduled hours, to 18 hours and this week 32. Yay! So the money worry isnt as huge as it was for me. This eliminates a huge stressor for me which great.
I did however get a tip on a full-time job starting this fall that I am looking into and hoping for. More details when I have them

Happy #2 -
I did some figuring and looked at my classes and such and figured out that I am on track to graduate next spring which is almost an entire year sooner then I expected. I am working my tail off this summer, taking 18 credit hours with only a 2 day break between spring and summer classes but it will be worth it.

Happy#3 -
I got enough financial aid that I was able to get some things that I needed for school including a new laptop. We have needed a new computer for a while now so this is a real blessing. We just put in the order for a Toshiba A660 yesterday. We will finally have a web-capable computer with Microsoft Word on it that wont crash every time the power cord gets bumped.


Thats all the post I have time for right now. I have a crazy week ahead of me - finals week for spring term, preparing for summer term, 32 work hours, etc. I do have another silly confessions post planned for later this week so stay tuned :)


LDJE

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Life update

Hello blog world!

A couple of updates as far as my random life goes.

Work

Most of you know that, on faith, I quit my job at Burger King a little over a month ago. This was for many reasons that I will not bore you with again.
Since then I have been furiously job hunting because quitting that job left clint and I with barely a third of our monthly income. (yeah big uh oh)
Thankfully we have made it thus far because we used our tax check to pay off everything that was due. I knew that wouldnt last long of course so my stress levels have been sky high in looking for this new job.
In the past few days (literally crunch time for us financially) things have been looking up.
I had an interview today at mcdonalds that I feel I did extremely well in. I should know by the end of the week if I have a job there.
I also have another application (at the mclure by 69) that I am waiting on a call for an interview. I spoke to the manager yesterday and she seemed interested and said she would let me know by the end of this week.
So by then end of the week I will probably have at least one job and an interview for a second one.
In all honesty I am really hoping for the Mcclure job for a couple reasons. I would love to get out of fast food and I know that my piercings wont be at all a problem there. But I will take what I can get. If I am offered Mcdonalds I will take it. I am considering the possibility of working two jobs at least for a month or two so that we can get caught up on our bills. But we shall see. It will all depend on many things including the specific hours I am offered at each place, the rate of pay and the amount of hours I will be offered.
I am not counting on anything though. I am still working hard at putting in apps at other places as well.

Clint is still for now working in Fort wayne at the most awesome Remedy. It is hard for him being as late as it is having 8am classes 3 days a week as well but he has pushed on and made it work.
Clint has also applied for a summer job on campus that we are hoping he will be offered.

School

I am doing well this subterm. Better then I thought I would considering that I have a philosophy class that I knew would not be my strong suit. I am still working on graduating sometime next year. I have made 2 decisions though:
a) While I had been contemplating turning my minor criminal justice into a second major I have decided that it is probably not the best option. It would push back my gradutation date back at least another semester if not two putting me at graduating in 2013. I would just rather not, and I dont feel like God is leading me to that.
b) However, I am looking into getting my masters in counseling, continuing the in the graduate program at LUO. This is not for sure yet and I have a lot of things to consider.

Clint is also doing wonderfully. I am so proud of him. He has so much going on this semester. His classes are not easy at all and working in fort wayne every week night makes things a lot harder. But he has pushed on and has kept his grades up. Did I mention that I am proud of him?


Random Other stuff

Life in general has been stressful to say the least. Clint and I are both concerned because we are not steady financially but we have confidence that God will get us thru this rough patch just as he has every other one.

Gabriel is just the same bratty lovable cuddle bug. He is not amused when clint and I both have to be gone all day for work or homework but he will learn to manage. When we are home we both try to spoil him with lots of love, cuddles and a healthy amount of treats. He has learned to behave himself enough that we can sometimes leave him out of his crate when we are not home.


We are working out plans for this summer including seasonal jobs, visits to family, and school. We are not all that focused on that right now though. Our focus is on our homework and remedying our financial situation so that we can finish strong this semester.

Prayers appreciated. Love to all our awesome friends and family.

LDJE

Friday, April 15, 2011

Response to ......

NOTE: The following blog post is an opinionated rant in response to the documentary Jesus Camp. Please take this post for what it is - a response to a documentary.

“My favorite thing to preach about is faith.” says the boy on the television screen. He is middle school aged probably 9 or 10 years old, at a camp off by himself preparing to preach to his peers. He paces, holding his Bible up, shaking it as if the words it contains might spray out to be absorbed by the invisible audience.

“ One-third of your friends could be here if it were not for abortions” this comes from a man in a red shirt with the word “life” on it.

A child, a little girl, not more then 9 years old, tears streaming down her face, wailing about abortion in america. “NO MORE!“ she wails. The children around her are swaying and have red tape across their mouths with the word “Life” on it. A parent quietly observes while video taping this scene.

A mother sits in the front row listening to speaker, one child in her lap, another beside her both no more then 5 years old. The speaker asks the children of the audience a question, the mother grabs her children’s arms making them raise them.

“My dancing must be of the Lord and not of the flesh.” this from a girl of about 8 years old. She talks about how her favorite music is christian rock and christian hard rock. The camera takes a step back as she dances.

A boy of about 10 on a stage in camouflage pants, a black shirt and green, black and brown paint on his face, looking like he is ready for battle. Using two rods as props he moves some what militaristically to the music playing over the sound system. The lyrics of the song speak of war, battle and fighting.

A day at the bowling alley. A young girl of 8 or 9 years walks up to a stranger telling her that she felt lead to speak to her.

An audience full of children, speaking “in tongues” while one is on the floor convulsing.

The “preacher” boy first mentioned tells the camera that he does not write the sermons that he preaches but God does. And sometimes his hand moves and writes things on it’s own.

Wait what?

There is something wrong with every picture here. Some are more obvious then others but none the less each of them are disconcerting in some way.

These are the children of indoctrination. Preaching sermons before they are a teenager, speaking in tongues, wailing

I watched this film knowing full well what I was getting myself into. I had heard of the film from several friends and despite their reactions I wanted to see it for myself.

In short I find what that woman does to be appalling, misguided, and ignorant.

Any one who knows anything about basic psychology knows how delicate and absorbent the young mind is. The way Christianity is taught to these children takes advantage of this and not in a good way. Children depend on their parents to take care of them

I do not deny the fact that the bible commands parents to “train up” their children. But being a christian does not mean that you have to be illogical, narrow-minded or deny empirical facts. I feel as though some christian parents tend to tell their children only what they want them to hear even when the child asks questions. When a child asks a question there is nothing wrong with giving them an honest answer. When you dodge a question or do not answer honestly the child figures it out; it might not be right away but they do figure it out. This can cause a mistrust.


I found this film to be incredibly frustrating and angering. These children are not being allowed to be what they are - children. In teaching these children these things in this manner it is forcing them to grow up too soon. It also encourages them to deny the empirical facts of the world around us. God can and does use science. Science is not evil, it has value. The same goes for philosophy and any thing else. How can we as Christians defend what we believe in if we do not acknowledge the things around us? Like it or not we live in a physical world and while we have an immaterial God he is still proven by the material.
Teaching children about God in this way does not make God seem real. It makes him seem like something to be afraid of, something to be nervous about. Teaching children something out of fear is not effective. Fear is not a legitimate or lasting reason for anything.

When children are given one option and only one option of course they will do what they are told. Parents need to be careful to not take advantage of this fact. I’m not saying that children should be presented with every view point. But when you shelter a child so all they know is one thing, and you shut down their questions, it will cause problems later in their life. They will not know how to accurately or logically defend their position on Christianity because it is all they know.

I think the main point of the train up a child is that children are not to be raised as property. Another element of this is that we are his children just as we have children. How does God teach us as his children? Does God force us to do anything? No. He gives us the free will to make and learn from our own mistakes. God watches out for us as his children but he does not shelter or indoctrinate us.

My final two thoughts:

Children need to be allowed to be children. They cannot do this if they are evangelizing before they are 12 years old.

Until a person has experienced God for them self Christianity is nothing more then something they learned from a textbook

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Confessions?

After enjoying a week off between school subterms I am back at the books. That week was fun but in many ways emotional so I have a lot on my mind. And in this I have a couple of confessions to make.


Last thursday I went to a wedding. My handsome husband was in the bridal party as one of the handsome groomsmen (sorry mr. groom but IMO my man was the handsomest guy up there) so I sat with some of my awesome guy friends.


Confession #1

Weddings are one of the few things that can bring out the girliest part of me.

They make me shriek, giggle and blush. I get excited about finding the perfect gift for the couple, knowing what the color theme is, what the flowers will be like, where the bride got her dress, reception centerpieces, where they are going for the honeymoon, and the mushy love story that every engaged couple loves to tell a million times over.
And weddings are one of the few events that I not only care about dressing up for but get excited about.
I have this pair of ridiculous 3inch heels. I wear them maybe once a year.. and even then they usually end up coming off half way thru whatever event I am attending. (I always have a pair of flip flops with me... ya can't go wrong with flip flops)

Yep, definitely got the girly out of me for a while. Don't expect to see me in a skirt anytime soon.



Confession #2

I cried a little at aforementioned wedding.

This does NOT happen. I never cry about anything. Not at movies, not at weddings. It was just such a beautiful wedding. And I was reminded of my own marriage. (Not that this was hard considering that my own hubby was standing 3 ft from the groom.) I was overwhelmed in that moment being reminded of how awesome it is to love and be loved by the right person at the right time.

*Tangent warning*
My relationship has been criticized many a time. Clint and I love each other so very much but we have quirky ways of showing it. I think the thing that a lot of people do not understand is that I truly did marry my best friend. I love just hanging out with my husband. He is my favorite person to do just about everything with. Yeah, we "argue" in public. If you spend enough time with us you learn very quickly that these "arguments" are just us messing with each other.
The other thing about us is that even in our rough patches there is always one thing we hold each other to. And that is God. God started out as the center of this relationship, he still and and will always be. We know know and acknowledge that with out him nothing in our lives could work. This is despite the disappointment and frustration we have faced in life situations. God continues to be our center.
Ok I better end this random tangent while I can cause I could rant about the things that people have said about our relationship for ever. But that is a post for another time.

*End Random Tangent*


Confession #3

I am the queen of knee jerk reactions.

Last week something happened that initially cause me to have a negative attitude and reaction. I was thankful that despite the fact that my reaction was knee-jerk, I managed to get by without saying something to someone that I would regret.

Self control is key when it comes to emotions. We are all faced time after time with situations that can cause a knee-jerk reaction. You know what I am talking about. Those times when you are told something and then you speak your emotions before you have a chance to think about them.

Sometimes knee-jerk reactions are accurate. Other times they could not be further from the actual reality of the situation, which was the case in the situation I encountered this past week. After some prayer and consideration I realized that I was wrong in my initial reaction. And while I am still not sure what exactly God is going to do in it, I know that my initial reaction was one of fear and a lack of trust.



~~

Well, that's about it for now friends. Only one more thing I want to mention- I have been reading a lot lately. It is something I am trying to make an effort to do more despite my busy schedule. This past weekend I read "The Christian Atheist" By Craig Groeschel. I have been wanting to write a blog post about it so I will probably do that tonight to post tomorrow.

I also started reading "The Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne which I am very excited about. Next on my list to read is "Exponential" by Dave Furgeson and Jon Furgeson. There is a story about how Clint and I discovered that book but that is a story for a future post.


(LDJE)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

take it or leave it....

So I mentioned in my last post that I was excited because having quit my job I feel more like myself and in many ways less stressed out. I mean yes, I am stressed about finding a new job but in many ways I am so relieved to be out of there. If you know me at all you know that there were many reasons for me to get out of there and just how bad that job stressed me out to the point that it was even affecting my health.

I am just really excited because being able to wear my chunky earrings and my nose ring I feel more comfortable because like it or not that's who I am.

I am a crazy random girl. I love my tapers,my gauged out ears with a billion holes, my nose ring and short choppy messy looking hair (and someday colored). I love purple and fairies and black. My favorite clothes to wear are guys hoodies, dark torn up jeans, random goofy t-shirts and either vans or flip flops. I love goofing off with my friends, playing video games and watching crazy television shows like Dr. Who. I can be the loudest most obnoxious person in the room or the one sitting in the corner that you barely notice all depending on my mood and who I am around. I have a heart for people.I love studying psychology and criminal justice and i am eager to have my degree and start working in some capacity that uses it.

I have had people hint to me that I need to grow up. Forget about my tapers and crazy bunches of holes in my ears and my ideas for tattoos. People have said oh hey well if your gonna have kids some day you are gonna have to grow up. Get rid of all that and start looking like a grown up.

I counter back with this. I AM grown-up! Just because my looks, hobbies , interests don't seem mature or grown up to you doesnt mean that I wont make it in life. Like it or not times are changing.

I am not sure what career I will have but I am confident in the fact that my quirky looks arent going anywhere. Unless God leads me otherwise I will continue to be the pierced quirky person that I am inside and out. I know that God has a plan for me. Like I said, I dont know what my future job will be. But I dont plan on changing my looks for a job unless God leads me otherwise.

I feel like the world is changing is so very much and I want to be a part of it. I think the church is on the verge of change as well. There are so many problems with todays church that I think our generation is going to at least attempt to change. But that is a post for another day.

And as far as the having kids thing. I do not think that having short hair, piercings, tattoos or playing video games is being a bad example or make a person a bad parent. My husband has no problem with the way I look because he knows that it is who I am as a person. He encourages it.

Being judged is a part of this judgmental world. We are all guilty of judging books by their covers. Thing is I dont care any more. I am who I am unapologetically. Given certain situations I will tone it down in order to be respectful but I will not change who I am simply because some one thinks it is immature or unchristian.

Outward appearance does not determine salvation. God takes us as we are. Having piercings and tattoos and girls having short hair is not a sin.

This is something that I have been working on a lot lately. Being myself no matter what. I, like most people tend to care too much about what others think of me. I was fake for so many years. That is no more.

This is me. Take it or leave it.

(LDJE)

Monday, March 14, 2011

lets catch you up world...

Since my last post a lot has changed. I still live in the middle of no where town of Upland. I still love Ivanhoes. I still love my most amazing husband and my adorable puppy.

But it has been challenging that is for sure.

My life is so very random. Its not predictable. This is something that I love and hate all at the same time. I love it because predictable can be boring to me. I do love change to a certain extent. It is exciting and energizing. But I also hate change. Because it is stressful and because I am a self admitted control freak.

The job i mentioned in my last post, I quit this past weekend.

There were a lot of reasons for this. The biggest one being that I felt God leading me to it. In this I feel comfort - knowing that I did what God asked of me. But at the same time I am so incredibly stressed out by the fact that I am once again find myself unemployed in one of the poorest counties in the state.

As God began to convict me to quit this job my biggest concern was being sure that I was not just making myself think it was God because of how bad I wanted to get out of that job. That job was by far the worst job I have ever had. I prayed about this. I talked it over with people I trust (and I love you all btw Clint, Anna, Ashley, Joe)

And then I did it. A couple of things happen that surprised me.

The first was that it went relatively well considering everything.

The second thing was support and encouragement of my coworkers. I told my manager in the office and after it was done I went to each of the people there and told them. I wanted them to hear from me that I quit just in case any rumor spread around that I was fired. Because of some of the problems I have had there I wanted to make sure there were plenty of people who could attest to that fact that I did indeed quit. As I told the girls up front I was greeted with hugs, some near tears, and offers of references and job hunt helps.

Then the thing that made me the happiest. I have been having problems sleeping the past few months. The past 2 nights have been the best sleep I think I have ever had.

I got home and put my "real" nose ring in and my favorite giant purple and green tapers in my ears. I felt like myself again. Like a breathe of fresh air had come over me.

I am still scared. There is a lot that still needs to be settled.

I need to find a new job as soon as possible. And I know I will be getting a probably not so nice call from the store manager within the next day or so.

I know that God will provide but this is still very scary for me. This week is going to be a long one. Even with out work I have a lot going on. It is all good but busy nonetheless.

I just gotta keep my head up and remember that my goal is to live not just exist (LDJE)
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