lets catch you up world...

Since my last post a lot has changed. I still live in the middle of no where town of Upland. I still love Ivanhoes. I still love my most amazing husband and my adorable puppy.

But it has been challenging that is for sure.

My life is so very random. Its not predictable. This is something that I love and hate all at the same time. I love it because predictable can be boring to me. I do love change to a certain extent. It is exciting and energizing. But I also hate change. Because it is stressful and because I am a self admitted control freak.

The job i mentioned in my last post, I quit this past weekend.

There were a lot of reasons for this. The biggest one being that I felt God leading me to it. In this I feel comfort - knowing that I did what God asked of me. But at the same time I am so incredibly stressed out by the fact that I am once again find myself unemployed in one of the poorest counties in the state.

As God began to convict me to quit this job my biggest concern was being sure that I was not just making myself think it was God because of how bad I wanted to get out of that job. That job was by far the worst job I have ever had. I prayed about this. I talked it over with people I trust (and I love you all btw Clint, Anna, Ashley, Joe)

And then I did it. A couple of things happen that surprised me.

The first was that it went relatively well considering everything.

The second thing was support and encouragement of my coworkers. I told my manager in the office and after it was done I went to each of the people there and told them. I wanted them to hear from me that I quit just in case any rumor spread around that I was fired. Because of some of the problems I have had there I wanted to make sure there were plenty of people who could attest to that fact that I did indeed quit. As I told the girls up front I was greeted with hugs, some near tears, and offers of references and job hunt helps.

Then the thing that made me the happiest. I have been having problems sleeping the past few months. The past 2 nights have been the best sleep I think I have ever had.

I got home and put my "real" nose ring in and my favorite giant purple and green tapers in my ears. I felt like myself again. Like a breathe of fresh air had come over me.

I am still scared. There is a lot that still needs to be settled.

I need to find a new job as soon as possible. And I know I will be getting a probably not so nice call from the store manager within the next day or so.

I know that God will provide but this is still very scary for me. This week is going to be a long one. Even with out work I have a lot going on. It is all good but busy nonetheless.

I just gotta keep my head up and remember that my goal is to live not just exist (LDJE)