Thoughts on Modesty, Self Image and Temptation Part 2

We've all heard the age old adage-

Don't judge a book by its cover

People take this phrase and apply it in a couple different ways but they all come down to this:

Don't judge people solely by their appearance.

There's a lot more truth to this than a lot of people realize despite the cliche.

How one presents oneself is motivated by many things. Especially for girls. I can't speak for guys but I know that as a girl, clothing and appearance can actually be a very emotional thing.

Girls dress certain ways to fit in, to attract attention, to express themselves. Though very few girls will admit the first two and focus on the latter.

All of this combined - one of the biggest factors that comes in to play when a girl gets dressed in the morning is about how they feel about their body and the mood that they are in. It's about self confidence and the image they have of themselves.


As with a lot of issues I believe there are 2 extremes that need to be balanced. Every girl has their bad days in which they might struggle with each of the extremes. The key is balance and knowing that the extreme feelings that we have at times are just that - extreme.

The first extreme is severe insecurities. These insecurities can be related to the body as a whole or in nitpicking certain areas and are caused by many different things including the words of parents, bullies, depression and other psychological issues, as well media portrayal.

On the other side of the spectrum is Cockiness- an over confidence in one's self which is equally unhealthy.

The balance in all this is confidence.

Confidence is:

• Acknowledging our own flaws but not dwelling on them. 
• Not letting society determine our view of beauty. 
• Isn't prideful and acknowledges flaws and limitations.
• Comes from ourselves and God - not from others. It is from being happy and content with ourselves
• Knowing what you believe and why. 
• Acknowledging that we as humans are all works in progress. 

All of these things are reflected in how we as women present ourselves. Having confidence means that we do not need to rely on our bodies for attention. It means that when the trends say short shorts and plunging necklines, we can say no because fashion doesn't define us. It means that we can acknowledge that the media portrayal of women and fashion is unrealistic and in many ways harmful. 

Girls,

Having a personal sense of style is great, but as women we have to be careful not to fall into the trap of letting our insecurities dress us. Whether that be under dressing or over dressing. There is nothing wrong with wearing things that flatter us. But as I mentioned in my last post its not just about us. We need to be mindful of the people around us. 

I know the feeling of longing for attention, and I have had moments of hating my body and I do have insecurities. But the older I get the more I learn to let go and not let my insecurities dictate how I dress.

Guys, 

I have a secret for you. Girls like it when you pay attention to them. (Ok you knew that but keep reading I am getting to my point. ) We all long to be loved (not just girls, you guys too). But sometimes we struggle to find the balance of learning how to get the right attention from you. We struggle to learn the right type of love. We struggle to realize that attention does not equal love. 

But our view is so skewed by our life circumstances and our society's portrayal of love. It affects guys too but in different ways. It's not an excuse but it is a fact. Girls have struggles and make mistakes just as much as guys. 

Encourage the girls in your life. Treat your sisters in Christ with respect. You don't always know what's going on deep with in the cover.

In short:

Don't judge a book by its cover, because outwards appearances are misleading.

Don't let your insecurities dress you. 

Also:

(Photos from Pinterest)