4 months is less than 10

Hello all

 its been almost 4 months since the last time I blogged here. At least I didn't go 10 months like last time lol.  A lot has happened. I've said it before I will say it again. My life rarely stands still. This year has been no different.
Earlier this year we found out about an awesome opportunity for my husband. I did not mention it here because it was one of those things that you just dont talk about unless you get it. And he got it.
Clint got an internship with the youth director a wonderful church - Trinity United Methodist Church in Elkhart IN. It involved yet another move but was an opportunity we could not pass up.
The past few years have been hard on Clint and I church-wise. With our frequent moves and crazy schedule we had a hard time getting settled into any church. And as much as we had a heart for Remedy we were both eager for some face-to-face ministry. So we were hoping and praying that this opportunity would pan out.
 We shadowed the church (yes Kiley and Olivia we did a little stalking of our own ;) ) a couple of sundays before the decision was made. We enjoyed it from the first time and prayed as the decision and application process proceeded.
As we went through the process I also worked on finding a job in the area as well so that the transition would be smooth for us. I applied lots of places including the church's preschool
In late July after some shadowing and meetings with church leaders we found out Clint had been selected for the position. Around the same time I got the call back from the preschool and was offered a teaching position.
So August we made the move to Elkhart IN. It was about our 5th move in a little over 4 yrs. I'm getting to be quite the packing pro, which is both amazing and frustrating.
We have been here for almost 2 months now. A LOT has happened. Some tough stuff. But also lots of amazing stuff. We have met a lot of amazing people and had some amazing times.

Life isnt easy but it is good.

Thoughts on Modesty, Self Image and Temptation Part 2

We've all heard the age old adage-

Don't judge a book by its cover

People take this phrase and apply it in a couple different ways but they all come down to this:

Don't judge people solely by their appearance.

There's a lot more truth to this than a lot of people realize despite the cliche.

How one presents oneself is motivated by many things. Especially for girls. I can't speak for guys but I know that as a girl, clothing and appearance can actually be a very emotional thing.

Girls dress certain ways to fit in, to attract attention, to express themselves. Though very few girls will admit the first two and focus on the latter.

All of this combined - one of the biggest factors that comes in to play when a girl gets dressed in the morning is about how they feel about their body and the mood that they are in. It's about self confidence and the image they have of themselves.


As with a lot of issues I believe there are 2 extremes that need to be balanced. Every girl has their bad days in which they might struggle with each of the extremes. The key is balance and knowing that the extreme feelings that we have at times are just that - extreme.

The first extreme is severe insecurities. These insecurities can be related to the body as a whole or in nitpicking certain areas and are caused by many different things including the words of parents, bullies, depression and other psychological issues, as well media portrayal.

On the other side of the spectrum is Cockiness- an over confidence in one's self which is equally unhealthy.

The balance in all this is confidence.

Confidence is:

• Acknowledging our own flaws but not dwelling on them. 
• Not letting society determine our view of beauty. 
• Isn't prideful and acknowledges flaws and limitations.
• Comes from ourselves and God - not from others. It is from being happy and content with ourselves
• Knowing what you believe and why. 
• Acknowledging that we as humans are all works in progress. 

All of these things are reflected in how we as women present ourselves. Having confidence means that we do not need to rely on our bodies for attention. It means that when the trends say short shorts and plunging necklines, we can say no because fashion doesn't define us. It means that we can acknowledge that the media portrayal of women and fashion is unrealistic and in many ways harmful. 

Girls,

Having a personal sense of style is great, but as women we have to be careful not to fall into the trap of letting our insecurities dress us. Whether that be under dressing or over dressing. There is nothing wrong with wearing things that flatter us. But as I mentioned in my last post its not just about us. We need to be mindful of the people around us. 

I know the feeling of longing for attention, and I have had moments of hating my body and I do have insecurities. But the older I get the more I learn to let go and not let my insecurities dictate how I dress.

Guys, 

I have a secret for you. Girls like it when you pay attention to them. (Ok you knew that but keep reading I am getting to my point. ) We all long to be loved (not just girls, you guys too). But sometimes we struggle to find the balance of learning how to get the right attention from you. We struggle to learn the right type of love. We struggle to realize that attention does not equal love. 

But our view is so skewed by our life circumstances and our society's portrayal of love. It affects guys too but in different ways. It's not an excuse but it is a fact. Girls have struggles and make mistakes just as much as guys. 

Encourage the girls in your life. Treat your sisters in Christ with respect. You don't always know what's going on deep with in the cover.

In short:

Don't judge a book by its cover, because outwards appearances are misleading.

Don't let your insecurities dress you. 

Also:

(Photos from Pinterest)

Thoughts on Modesty, Self Image and Temptation Part 1

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the three topics mentioned in the title of this post. Not so much separately but how they relate to each other. And they are a lot more intertwined than you might think.

The correlation between Modesty and Temptation is probably pretty clear with out much explanation. But the  relation of all three might not be as obvious.

Modesty is a topic that has been discussed in detail within the church and there are a handful of opinions on the matter. But they all stem from 2 extremes.

The first extreme is that the responsibility belongs solely to women.  

In a stark contrast the other extreme is that the responsibility belongs solely to men.

There are 2 main faults with each of these extremes.

Saying the responsibility belongs solely to women would imply that rape is the woman's fault (this is so wildly inaccurate I even hate typing this sentence in this context). It also takes away the concept of free will and implies that men are completely incapable of self control and resisting temptation.

On the other hand, saying that the responsibility belongs solely to men implies a lack of the the loving and caring spirit that God wants us to have for each other as his children. It also (as with the former extreme) takes away the responsibility of the woman, which is not only unfair but unrealistic.

So with whom does the responsibility lie?

In my opinion it lies with both the men and the women.

To the lovely ladies out there:
We as women should keep modesty in mind when we are dressing ourselves and shopping for clothes. Yes, this might mean passing up on some of the latest trends (let's leave the short shorts and plunging necklines on the rack). This should not be seen as burden to us but rather as a way to show respect and the love of Christ  for and to the men in our lives. It is an acknowledgement of the temptation and that God made men as very visual beings which is something that can be difficult for us to relate to at times, especially sexually.

To the same respect Guys:
In being modest we acknowledge you and the differences in our genders. But you do have a responsibility to  resist lustful thoughts because like it or not there is only so much we can do. It is impractical, unrealistic and unfair you to not accept a part of the responsibility. God gave you free will and the ability to control yourself. You are not an animal. You can control your self. Those thoughts can only control you if you let them.


If the church could agree that the responsibility of modesty and sexual temptation is shared, things would be better for every one involved.

Youth pastors and leaders don't just confront the girl. Confront the boy as well. I have heard too many stories of girls who are hurt because they are approached in church because of something they are wearing. Albeit sometimes these confrontations are with good reason.

But still- why is only the girl confronted? Why not the boy who is ogling her like a sexual plaything? Why the double standard? Why do we act like the pharisees who stoned the woman caught in adultery but did not hold the man accountable?



In a nutshell - the responsibility is shared. The confrontation and accountability need to follow suit.


This post ended up being longer than I thought so I will post part  next week. I would love your thoughts in the mean time.


Thanks for reading :)

LDJE

Another catch up - hold on to hope.

August of last year. Thats when I posted here last. Ten months ago.  A lot sure has happened since then.

The posts stopped because, while I hid it fairly well in real life, August through October of last year were some of the most trying days of my life.

My husband and I were technically living apart. Not because we wanted to but because we felt we had to. I was living with his parents, and he was an hour a way couch surfing and trying to find a job that would enable us to move back to the town we felt we should be living in.

It was rougher than we want to admit. It put a bit of a strain on our relationship (nothing that wasnt amendable with time). And we definitely will not be doing that again. We both slipped into a bit of depression. We were discouraged, worn out and felt like nothing was going our way. We strove to hold on to God even in those darkest moments. But it was hard, there is no denying that.

At the end of September we basically gave up on moving back to the town we wanted to be in. Clint moved back in and started with a temp agency and the plan was to save enough money to move back out on our own. That was really frustrating for us. Clint wasnt in ministry, as he felt he was lead to be, I didn't have a job, and in general we felt like we were just existing.

We were broken and felt abandoned by God.

Of course that's when God started to work. When we got to the point that we had tried everything and finally just gave up.

In October I started a telecommute / on-call job with RemedyLive  (a great ministry that we have been involved with on and off for several years). This job was technically enough for us to get approved to move into our own apartment in Fort Wayne. So we took the risk, and moved down with a monthly income that just barely covered our rent. Clint was with a temp agency that had multiple locations including one in Fort Wayne and the plan was for him to get transferred to this office and get a new assignment locally. It was still risky though because it of course depends on what they have available. It could have taken 2 days or 2 months for him to get a new assignment.

Thankfully God moved and he was able to start a new assignment a week or so after we made the move. The rough times weren't over yet though. The new assignment paid fairly well but the schedule was horrible. We barely saw each other and were on almost entirely opposite sleep schedules. But we were willing to put up with it because it was better than living apart and we kept praying God would move again.

And it did. Of course in an unexpected way. Clint developed an allergy to something at the factory. He broke out in a bad case of hives. They sent him to the Dr. to confirm it was something from the factory and then let him go because it was a liability.

I was freaked out and yet calm at the same time. And that's when God came through again. Remedy offered Clint a position that would get us through. He was put back on air with

That pretty much brings you up to date. God is still working and things are changing. We know that even this isn't permanent and are looking forward to what God has in store for us as we continue to move forward.
 If you want to continue reading about my life feel free to subscribe to this blog. I am committing to posting regularly again. Both here and on my creativity blog. Here I will be posting things about life, my thoughts, and randomness. My creativity blog is for all my artistic endeavors, from food and recipes to DIY home and craft project.

I just want to finish this blog post with one final thought.

My life is on the upswing, but I know there are those of you who are going through the dark days right now. I just want to encourage you to hold on. God will move in his timing which is better than our own. I know that in the darkest of days it is so difficult to trust him, to hold on to hope, to trust in his timing and not try to take matters in our own hands. But be reminded that he hasn't and wont leave you. The sun will come again.


LDJE

Be good to one another

For those of you who dont know this picture mashes two themes - Bioware's Mass Effect  Shepard character with Hasbro's My Little Pony  character Pinkie Pie. 

It was made on commission by artist supacrikeydave as a commissioned piece on the website Deviant Art. Little did  Dave know that his art would be featured on  Mass Effect's facebook page where it stirred up quite the ruckus.

Recently there has been a controversial rise in fan's of Hasbro's My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic. But these are not the fans that you would expect. They are not in the target audience of young girls. These are teenage and grown males who have come to appreciate the show. They have been dubbed "bronies" and were the root of the fuss when BioWare posted the above picture.

Bronies are somewhat controversial in and of themselves. They have been accused of many a malicious intent from trolling to pedophilia. After BioWare posted the picture it was immediately hit with over 4,000 comments, almost 10,000 "likes" and just over 3,000 shares. Posters accused Bronies of being "creepers" untrustworthy, and all sorts of unpleasant things I will not repeat.

Some even went as far as to call for a mass "unlike" of the page. Some when even further than that and called for people to sell all their Mass Effect games.

It didnt take long for BioWare to respond with a blog post here.  The title of the blog is appropriately "What is a Community?" Social Media Coordinator David Hulegaard, calls fans out to be accepting of one another. "...rather than become hostile and turn against the community, we have an alternate suggestion: Create something better. Instead of raving about what you don’t like, show us an example of something that appeals to you." He makes the point that fan art of any form is accepted and often reposted. Shepard Pinky is not the first and will not be the last. The post is ended simply - "Be good to one another."


Those five little words are applicable to almost every situation. Very similar to the christian golden rule " Do unto others as you would have them do to you." I think too often we make snap judgments and are too quick to be offended by another's opinion. This could often be avoided by simply remembering to "Be good to one another."

The Lorax movie review

The Good:

•  The animation is fun and the colors very like the book. 
• There are subtle little details from the book that are included in the movie.  A couple of examples:
• the green fuzzy arms from the book are in the movie as long green fuzzy gloves
• the stripes from the trees
• the depiction of the "thneed" 

The Bad:

• The added nemesis - Mr. O'Hara. A short, ugly little man who literally sells bottled air. Did not add to the original story in a positive way at all.  
• The portrayal of the barb-a-loots wasnt very seussical in my opinion. 
• The romantic subplot could have worked but it fell flat
• The ending left much to be desired and lacked the curious simplicity of the book.  

The Ugly:

• The environmental agenda (see below)

Conclusion:

        Overall it wasnt a horrible film but I do not believe it followed the true spirit of the book. 

I give kids movies a LOT of leeway. There are some things that just dont matter to kids- minor plot holes, inconsistencies etc. But there is one thing I cannot stand in children's movies - an agenda. 

        And the Lorax is riddled with an environmental agenda. The character additions were not to improve the story, they were added solely for the pushing of the agenda. 

        Children's films are supposed to filled with imagination, colors, sweets, treats, animals and perhaps a bit of education. They are supposed to be lighthearted and fun. The Lorax lacked all of the above due to the agenda it pushed. Get the book it is better by far. It made a point but did not push it. 

Rotten Tomatoes  

The Book:

Today I learned: Zoo edition

1) Lorikeets are gorgeous and while they might feast on sweet smelling nectar they can be feisty little buggers who demand the sweets.

2) The dolphin dome is awesome and yet terrifying.

3) Some people lock up their strollers like a bike. There are even cutsey little animal themed locks made just for strollers.

4) Who ever had the idea to have photographers at the entrance of the zoo having every one post for pictures and then giving them a card so that they can look at them and have the option to get prints of the pics is a genius. 

5) Baby elephants are stumbling, bumbling piles of adorable.

6) I will always love pressed pennies.

7) Strollers can be used as battering rams.

8) Its fun to watch little kids think they could be faster than a Cheetah

9) My in-laws dog kinda looks like a meerkat with pig ears.

  

Handegg

So living in good ol’ Indiana everybody loves football. Crazy hoosiers. No, let me try that again- most people in the midwest love football. At least most of the people around me. And let me tell you these are hardcore fans.


These are the people who consider superbowl sunday a national holiday. Jerseys are seen anytime you go anywhere in public. And its gets worse closer to that lovely sunday. I have heard of local churches canceling services on that day due to low attendance.


People who make sure they dont have to work that sunday (some even take the day before and the day after off to prep for / recover from the party.) The local walmart carries jerseys of the local NFL team. And these arent just guys - its the girls too. They get their pink versions of their favorite players jersey, a pink hat to match, or wear the regular colors but are sure to tie little ribbons in their hair to match.


I am married to a football fan. His parents are football fans. Superbowl is not just another sunday.It is a sunday of snacks and family and “the big game.” I don't mind superbowl sunday. I usually sit on my computer eating awesome food, half listening to the football chatter. My brothers like football, one particularly more so than the others but they all enjoying watching it.  In college I had a roommate who loved (still does that I am aware of) the colts.


Despite having grown up around all of this, having a crazy football fan for a husband, and awesome in-laws who try their hardest to include me in the football festivities, I must admit - I do not care for football in the least.


Despite the efforts of my roommate, brother, husband, and mother-in-law, I have not been convinced. It is just not something I can get into. I always tell my husband that it just seems silly to me to spend hours watching men in tight pants (wait, that might be why the women like it) violently shove each other around while chasing an oval balloon of pigskin. He hasn't given up and neither has my mother-in-law, the crazy goofballs. And I am sure that this blog post will renew their ambition to convert me once again.


There’s nothing wrong with football. But what it comes down to is this: I cant be a fan of a sport that I cant get excited about or interested in. It just doesnt appeals to me. Then again not many traditional sports do.


I am not beyond trolling people though. I have been known to enthusiastically root for the other team just to pick on people. It’s all in good fun but I honestly couldnt care less.

So to all you football fans - enjoy the upcoming football season. Go ahead and hog the tvs. Its not the worst hobby you could have. 

I leave you with a pic that depicts the thing about football that has always bugged me:

Migraines, dog pee, hugs, ponies, and zombies? a randomness post

What do the aforementioned things have in common? They are the key elements from my day today! I woke up with a migraine decided to go back to bed only to find a puddle of dog pee (not his fault I forgot to leave the door cracked so dad could take him out at 4am). Ugg! 

Not long later I finally got to see my husband after 8 days of being apart. It might seem ridiculous to some how much I missed him but at least I admit it. I really admire the girl's who can go month's with out seeing their guys. I definitely could not  be an army wife. I miss my husbands hugs after a couple of hours. A week was bad enough. 

We went to walmart so Clint could get a few things and my awesome bro-in-law, Dallas, (the self admitted Brony) picked up the My Little Ponies dvd that he had been looking for. I found out later in the day that this crazy boy has written a crazy long fanfic that is something like 40,000 words. So now I must watch all the episodes so I can read this monster. I have watched a handful of episodes and liked it alright but I want to play better attention and see them in the right order. I get the feeling I will like it. (Don't judge it could always be worse.) 

Finishing out the day we spent time with the family and introduced Dallas to The Walking Dead. Zombies are always fun. But I feel so sorry for that poor horse in the first episode. 

Continuing the randomness I leave you all with this which contains more than a shred of truth IMO:

Home

 As much as I love my in-laws (and they are amazing let me tell ya), the past week has been hard on me not only being apart from my husband but just the fact that this is not my home. I love and appreciate my in-laws for letting me stay here but this is not my home. The bed I sleep in is not my  bed. The closet my wedding dress is hanging in is not my closet.
       The fact is right now my home has no physical form. Yes, to an extent home is where the people you love are but it is also a matter of having a place to call your own. A place to make your own memories. A place to be free and comfortable like no other place in this world. A place to sigh. A place to breathe. A place to live and love and laugh.
   To me home has two main forms. The physical building whether it be house or apartment provides the sense of having a place to call one’s own. Home also has the aspect of people. An empty home is not comforting. God didnt design us to be alone. For most it is a husband or wife who help to complete that aspect of home. Which is why I am sure once Clint is around this will feel more like home to me.

I know I will have a home again soon. And I will appreciate it more than I did before.  

Memories

Best described as a combination of rotting fish and industrial cleaning chemicals, the smell of my neighbors meth lab is one I won’t soon forget. Thankfully due to the way the units are set up most of our stuff was unaffected. But our back storage area got it the worst. There were things back there that we just could not chance keeping. I had to throw away things that i really didnt want to - old high school journals, some movie ticket stubs, some things I was keeping for my future daughters, and a handful of other things.


But as we sorted these things with handkerchiefs over our faces I realized something - the memories are still there. I need to quit attaching my memories to things and take the memories for what they are - remembrance of a time past. Just because I dont have those ticket stubs, or old magazines doesnt mean I cant remember the laughs, smiles, and inside jokes.

The Chick-Fil-A Debate

I swore I wouldn't but I recently sat in on an interesting discussion of this topic. So here is my short and sweet (albeit pointed) view on the recent debate broken down in five points.


1) Freedom of speech - Cathy had the right to say what he did and has the right to run his business how he pleases. Just as each individual person has the right to respond (both verbally and otherwise) with their opinions. Would the public really have accepted and moved on from a "No comment"?

2) The Church’s reaction -  There are two parts about the church’s reaction that bugged me.

First of all, it just reinforced the stereotypes that push unbelievers away from the church. This is something I can and will write an entire blog post about. But in short- populations can either prove or disprove the stereotypes and misconceptions about themselves.

Secondly, it seemed to me that it was a knee-jerk reaction. In His time on earth Jesus was a mediator and a peace-maker. He was humble and lived simply. He was not loud or called attention to himself. He spoke up when it was needed but it was always in a spirit of humbleness not in defensive or harsh manner. As christian’s we need to reflect Him. The reaction to me was not humble or a reflection of him.

3) The other side- It is a normal reaction to stand up for one’s self. While I do not believe Cathy meant it in an offensive manner, it is understandable that it was taken as such due to how christian’s do normally act towards homosexuals.

4) The politics - I hate saying this but I question the politician's reactions (both liberal and conservative) in light of the upcoming elections. It seemed to me they reacted as boldly as they did solely for political support.

5) Conclusion - I think both sides have made mistakes in the past week. Christians need to be more humble and realize that reactions like the ones this week do NOT show the love of Christ. Also in debates such as this there are two things I feel people often forget. The first is that BOTH sides have the right not only to their opinion but to vocalize it. The second is that arguments, heated debates and drama rarely get people anywhere, so even though being prepared (and willing) to agree to disagree may be difficult, it is for the best.






I welcome feedback and opinions on this post but drama will not be responded to. I am not trying to start any arguments nor will I respond to anything that is argumentative.

The FAQs

There are a handful of questions that I have been asked many times over the last few weeks. So I’m gonna address them here.

Did you guys know?
No. We had our suspicions that something was wasn’t right but certainly nothing as serious as a meth lab. We couldnt believe that she was dumb enough to cook where she slept. There was some unusual traffic and the fact that they had a rowboat propped against the side of the house what a little weird but not anything we could call the cops over.

Did you smell anything?
Obviously not enough to raise any flags to us. We smelled a lot of cigarette smoke though which bugged us enough. The last day we were there however we discovered that we could smell it in our back storage hall (which makes sense in in lieu of it being one of the closest areas to where they were doing the cooking) It is a smell neither of us will ever forget. We threw out almost everything back there not wanting to risk it.


Did you guys get sick?
Not anything too serious. I know at least for me it was causing some minor issues but they are already clearing up being out of the environment. And like i said before, it affected Gabe worse (or at least more noticeably) than us.

What did the owner of the apartments say?
Not much. They were, of course, upset. It’s not likely they will be able to rent out either of the two units for a while.


Resources and further information:

http://methlabhomes.com/2011/07/how-meth-labs-can-effect-your-health/

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=former-meth-lab

http://www.cdphe.state.co.us/hm/methlabfaq.pdf

So we live in the same building as a former meth lab- What now?

That night was difficult. We were, of course, more than a little freaked out. The questions and worst case scenarios swirled in our heads.
Were we being affected physically? 
Just how toxic are the gases? 
How does it affect dogs? 
Does it have long term effects? 
Should we even sleep here tonight? 

What do we do now?

There was a little bit of crying, a bit of rage, and more than a little panic that night. But after a couple of hours of this we decided, as crazy as this might sound, that the best thing for us would be to just sleep on it. We needed to be clear headed and not panic stricken before making any decisions. So we did our best to unwind and fall asleep.

By Saturday we had made two major decisions. The first was that the move was definitely gonna be sooner than October.  We did enough research to know the general symptoms and what to watch out for but also that the sooner we got out the better. (tomorrow’s blog post will contain some of the info that I have gathered about all of that)

The second was that it would be best for Gabe (our dog) if we sent him somewhere we knew he would be safe. So we talked to Clint’s parent’s who agreed to take care of him until we got everything sorted out. Which we discovered the following week was for the best because the gases had been affecting him. He had been lacking energy, had a rash, some tummy issues, and issues with fluids draining from his ears and nose. They were all little symptoms that had built up over time that we had attributed to other things. The mucus/ fluid build up we attributed to allergies, the rash from some funny weeds in the backyard, tummy issues from just the fact that he gets into everything.  After he was out of the environment for even just a week he was doing drastically better.

After a few more days and many long discussions we decided we needed to be out of that apartment as soon as possible. So I made some calls and we made plans to move out on July 31st. We made a not so easy decision to go 2 seperate ways for a few weeks.  We put our stuff in storage in Fort Wayne. Clint is staying Upland to work an extra week at Ivanhoes after which he will head up to Fort Wayne to find and start a new job. I made the drive up to Clint’s parents house where I will do some job hunting and get started back at school. If everything goes according to plan we will be in the new apartment sometime by the end of the month.

The next 3 weeks or so will not be easy especially for Clint so prayers are appreciated.
The whole situation has made us examine ourselves, our life, our priorities. The past 2 years in Upland we knew there was just one reason we were there - so Clint could get his degree. We  didn't really focus on anything else. For me it was just a matter of dealing with it - grinning and bearing it. I did not enjoy living in Upland at all. I know it was something we had to do, but it just was not my kind of town. That’s not to say that it was all bad. I did have some great experiences and met some awesome people down there. But I also had some horrible ones and met some not so great people.

So to the people who made the bright moments in a town I hated shine as so very brightly they did - thank you! Despite all of that bad memories I wouldnt trade my time because than I would miss out on the good memories.
Kate, Pete, Victoria, Nathan, - You guys are awesome and have been such awesome friends.  To my fellow co-workers at the 3 places of employment in that 2 years- I wish you the best in your lives. 
To those of you who I dont have such fond memories of, those I need to forgive, that full forgiveness will come with time. The hurt you caused has helped shape me to be a stronger person, there are just a few of you that I am still working on the forgiveness part.

The more I look back on my time in Upland the more I know I will see the ways I have learned and grew (and I will have plenty of time for that over the next few weeks). At the moment though, I am just happy in the thought that it is behind me, that I will never live in that town again.  

Hello August 1st! Hello Change! - Why our move was so sudden

I have been waiting for this day for a little over 2 weeks now. It is the beginning of the next step in my life. It means that July is OVER! And thank God for that! July was one of the roughest months in a while for me. Oh wait you want to know why? What have you heard? Ok. I guess I can write about that :D.

Like I said it all started a little over 2 weeks ago. Clint was finishing up his last class at Taylor and we were both working at the wonderful Ivanhoes' ( a local ice cream shop/ drive -in thing within walking distance of our apartment). I had taken a few weeks off of school because I had been going non stop with out a break for 2 years. At the time the plan was to take our time and move back to Fort Wayne easily. We had just started looking into apartments and made the decision to invite one of our friends, Jason to room with us once we moved back. We started looking for jobs and making tentative plans, but really didn't expect to move until September at the very earliest.

Lets just say God didn't like that time table. Our life seems to be the prime example of the saying "You want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans." Clint and I fully admit we are both very stubborn people. So when God doesnt like our plans he tends to do something drastic to get our attention. This time was no different. 

It was a thursday. Clint and I both had off so we decided to go into fort wayne to look at some apartments with Jason and to just have some fun. Fast forward to 10:30pm- we turn at the gas station and our little apartment comes into view. There are a TON of cars parked out front. We quickly realize that most of them are police cars. My stomach turned and I knew something big had happened and had a horrible feeling it was gonna impact us more than we could imagine. 

There are so many cars we pull up on the grass on our side of the unit. We are immediately approached by a man who identifies himself as Sheriff or state trooper someone or another. After verifying that we live there he informs us that our neighbor had been cooking meth. As he says this a person in a white hazmat suit walks out of the door behind him like some sort of cruel emphasis to the fact that on the other side of our wall there was a highly explosive and noxious gas lab. 

Needless to say we barely slept that night. We stayed up talking about what we should do. But we both knew that a knee jerk reaction would not be the right one in the long run. So eventually we went to bed. . . . 

2 post in one month? whaaaaat?

lol Life continues to be crazy. That not any ones fault really. I do tend to bite off more then I can chew. But I like keeping busy. I would rather be too busy then not have enough going on. Thats just how I am.

A couple of things I want to mention:

I am finally getting my handmade shop up and running. My GRAND OPENING is schedule for JULY 1! I am SO excited. I have been working on and off on RandomAnn designs since I was a teenager. But I finally made it a priority and made some measurable progress on it. You can learn more about it here :)

It had been crazy crazy. I went to go see my little sister graduate this past weekend which was great. It was awesome to see my crazy family and get to spend some time with them.

I was sick earlier this week which was not fun at all. I dont call off work for many things but thats just how down I was. I am better now. Still congested but better.

I have had a lot on my mind lately. Prayers are appreciated. Prayers for clarity and assurance. More about this later.

That's all for now family and friends.

LDJE

Crazy life - June Edition

I am happy to report that things have been going fairly well. As mentioned in my last post I have indeed proven my worth at the new job. This past week I even got over time working about 47 hours. They have realized that my strength is closing so I am predominantly on that shift. This is convenient for both them and me. It is convenient for me because I am a night owl, I would much rather stay up late then get up early. (I also like it cause I get to work with fewer customers and I have a set focused task to do) Most people complain about working closing shift because you are there late and it is a decent amount of work. But I like it because it is generally more relaxed. It is convenient for them because they have had 4 closers quit or get fired last week.

ANYWAY. . . Clint finished up school with all A's and B's and I am ever so proud of him. It was not easy for him working 5 nights a week in Fort Wayne and going to school full-time. But he managed to do it and I am just so proud of him. For the summer he is still working in fort wayne while seeking another job, ideally closer to home. Prayers appreciated for us both but particularly that he finds a job closer to home.

School for me continues to be hectic but worth it. I recently received two certificates for parts of the program I am in and it was encouraging to see my hard work start to pay off. Though the full diploma will be and even greater encouragement. I am still working thru the summer but I went down to 15 credits because one of the classes had some deadlines that I just could not work out with everything else. Still on pace though to graduate next year though :D

We were finally able to get internet so doing my homework has become so much easier. Considering I can even do it when I get home from work if i care to do so. We also got Netflix. Which leads me to the fun part of this post.

I have a To-See list a mile long. But thanks to Netflix I am able to finally start working away at it. This is my list of movies and tv shows that I want to see. I will be posting my thoughts on the things I watch so stay tuned for those fun posts. (Not really formal reviews just my thoughts)

And to start out with I watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

In a sentence I LOVED it! I am a huge Firefly/ Joss Whedon fan. Nathan Fillion made a hysterical over the top character. Neil Patrick Harris was just plain hysterical as Dr. Horrible. And Felicia Day is just adorable and she is awesome in both this and The Guild though I had never heard of her before watching the latter. The movie in general was just funny, though the ending was a bit sad (no spoilers here). But yes I loved it and it has now moved to my "To- Own" list, which is probably just as long as my To-See list.

Yes, I know I am ridiculous. That's why you keep reading. Ha! Got ya there now dont I?

More movie and tv show thoughts to come!

Toodles

LDJE

new stuff exciting stuff .. can we all say yay?!?!?!

Hello all,

Sorry for the delay since my last post. Life continues to be crazy but I push on to live not just exist.

Happy #1 -

I got the job at mcdonalds. My favorite? no, but it will do for now. I am not having the issues I had at BK so in that I am very happy. I know that I have made a decent impression on my new managers as my hours have gone steadily up. From training week of 10 scheduled hours, to 18 hours and this week 32. Yay! So the money worry isnt as huge as it was for me. This eliminates a huge stressor for me which great.

I did however get a tip on a full-time job starting this fall that I am looking into and hoping for. More details when I have them

Happy #2 -

I did some figuring and looked at my classes and such and figured out that I am on track to graduate next spring which is almost an entire year sooner then I expected. I am working my tail off this summer, taking 18 credit hours with only a 2 day break between spring and summer classes but it will be worth it.

Happy#3 -

I got enough financial aid that I was able to get some things that I needed for school including a new laptop. We have needed a new computer for a while now so this is a real blessing. We just put in the order for a Toshiba A660 yesterday. We will finally have a web-capable computer with Microsoft Word on it that wont crash every time the power cord gets bumped.

Thats all the post I have time for right now. I have a crazy week ahead of me - finals week for spring term, preparing for summer term, 32 work hours, etc. I do have another silly confessions post planned for later this week so stay tuned :)

LDJE

Life update

Hello blog world!

A couple of updates as far as my random life goes.

Work

Most of you know that, on faith, I quit my job at Burger King a little over a month ago. This was for many reasons that I will not bore you with again.

Since then I have been furiously job hunting because quitting that job left clint and I with barely a third of our monthly income. (yeah big uh oh)

Thankfully we have made it thus far because we used our tax check to pay off everything that was due. I knew that wouldnt last long of course so my stress levels have been sky high in looking for this new job.

In the past few days (literally crunch time for us financially) things have been looking up.

I had an interview today at mcdonalds that I feel I did extremely well in. I should know by the end of the week if I have a job there.

I also have another application (at the mclure by 69) that I am waiting on a call for an interview. I spoke to the manager yesterday and she seemed interested and said she would let me know by the end of this week.

So by then end of the week I will probably have at least one job and an interview for a second one.

In all honesty I am really hoping for the Mcclure job for a couple reasons. I would love to get out of fast food and I know that my piercings wont be at all a problem there. But I will take what I can get. If I am offered Mcdonalds I will take it. I am considering the possibility of working two jobs at least for a month or two so that we can get caught up on our bills. But we shall see. It will all depend on many things including the specific hours I am offered at each place, the rate of pay and the amount of hours I will be offered.

I am not counting on anything though. I am still working hard at putting in apps at other places as well.

Clint is still for now working in Fort wayne at the most awesome Remedy. It is hard for him being as late as it is having 8am classes 3 days a week as well but he has pushed on and made it work.

Clint has also applied for a summer job on campus that we are hoping he will be offered.

School

I am doing well this subterm. Better then I thought I would considering that I have a philosophy class that I knew would not be my strong suit. I am still working on graduating sometime next year. I have made 2 decisions though:

a) While I had been contemplating turning my minor criminal justice into a second major I have decided that it is probably not the best option. It would push back my gradutation date back at least another semester if not two putting me at graduating in 2013. I would just rather not, and I dont feel like God is leading me to that.

b) However, I am looking into getting my masters in counseling, continuing the in the graduate program at LUO. This is not for sure yet and I have a lot of things to consider.

Clint is also doing wonderfully. I am so proud of him. He has so much going on this semester. His classes are not easy at all and working in fort wayne every week night makes things a lot harder. But he has pushed on and has kept his grades up. Did I mention that I am proud of him?

Random Other stuff

Life in general has been stressful to say the least. Clint and I are both concerned because we are not steady financially but we have confidence that God will get us thru this rough patch just as he has every other one.

Gabriel is just the same bratty lovable cuddle bug. He is not amused when clint and I both have to be gone all day for work or homework but he will learn to manage. When we are home we both try to spoil him with lots of love, cuddles and a healthy amount of treats. He has learned to behave himself enough that we can sometimes leave him out of his crate when we are not home.

We are working out plans for this summer including seasonal jobs, visits to family, and school. We are not all that focused on that right now though. Our focus is on our homework and remedying our financial situation so that we can finish strong this semester.

Prayers appreciated. Love to all our awesome friends and family.

LDJE

Response to ......

NOTE: The following blog post is an opinionated rant in response to the documentary Jesus Camp. Please take this post for what it is - a response to a documentary.

“My favorite thing to preach about is faith.” says the boy on the television screen. He is middle school aged probably 9 or 10 years old, at a camp off by himself preparing to preach to his peers. He paces, holding his Bible up, shaking it as if the words it contains might spray out to be absorbed by the invisible audience.

“ One-third of your friends could be here if it were not for abortions” this comes from a man in a red shirt with the word “life” on it.

A child, a little girl, not more then 9 years old, tears streaming down her face, wailing about abortion in america. “NO MORE!“ she wails. The children around her are swaying and have red tape across their mouths with the word “Life” on it. A parent quietly observes while video taping this scene.

A mother sits in the front row listening to speaker, one child in her lap, another beside her both no more then 5 years old. The speaker asks the children of the audience a question, the mother grabs her children’s arms making them raise them.

“My dancing must be of the Lord and not of the flesh.” this from a girl of about 8 years old. She talks about how her favorite music is christian rock and christian hard rock. The camera takes a step back as she dances.

A boy of about 10 on a stage in camouflage pants, a black shirt and green, black and brown paint on his face, looking like he is ready for battle. Using two rods as props he moves some what militaristically to the music playing over the sound system. The lyrics of the song speak of war, battle and fighting.

A day at the bowling alley. A young girl of 8 or 9 years walks up to a stranger telling her that she felt lead to speak to her.

An audience full of children, speaking “in tongues” while one is on the floor convulsing.

The “preacher” boy first mentioned tells the camera that he does not write the sermons that he preaches but God does. And sometimes his hand moves and writes things on it’s own.

Wait what?

There is something wrong with every picture here. Some are more obvious then others but none the less each of them are disconcerting in some way.

These are the children of indoctrination. Preaching sermons before they are a teenager, speaking in tongues, wailing

I watched this film knowing full well what I was getting myself into. I had heard of the film from several friends and despite their reactions I wanted to see it for myself.

In short I find what that woman does to be appalling, misguided, and ignorant.

Any one who knows anything about basic psychology knows how delicate and absorbent the young mind is. The way Christianity is taught to these children takes advantage of this and not in a good way. Children depend on their parents to take care of them

I do not deny the fact that the bible commands parents to “train up” their children. But being a christian does not mean that you have to be illogical, narrow-minded or deny empirical facts. I feel as though some christian parents tend to tell their children only what they want them to hear even when the child asks questions. When a child asks a question there is nothing wrong with giving them an honest answer. When you dodge a question or do not answer honestly the child figures it out; it might not be right away but they do figure it out. This can cause a mistrust.

I found this film to be incredibly frustrating and angering. These children are not being allowed to be what they are - children. In teaching these children these things in this manner it is forcing them to grow up too soon. It also encourages them to deny the empirical facts of the world around us. God can and does use science. Science is not evil, it has value. The same goes for philosophy and any thing else. How can we as Christians defend what we believe in if we do not acknowledge the things around us? Like it or not we live in a physical world and while we have an immaterial God he is still proven by the material.

Teaching children about God in this way does not make God seem real. It makes him seem like something to be afraid of, something to be nervous about. Teaching children something out of fear is not effective. Fear is not a legitimate or lasting reason for anything.

When children are given one option and only one option of course they will do what they are told. Parents need to be careful to not take advantage of this fact. I’m not saying that children should be presented with every view point. But when you shelter a child so all they know is one thing, and you shut down their questions, it will cause problems later in their life. They will not know how to accurately or logically defend their position on Christianity because it is all they know.

I think the main point of the train up a child is that children are not to be raised as property. Another element of this is that we are his children just as we have children. How does God teach us as his children? Does God force us to do anything? No. He gives us the free will to make and learn from our own mistakes. God watches out for us as his children but he does not shelter or indoctrinate us.

My final two thoughts:

Children need to be allowed to be children. They cannot do this if they are evangelizing before they are 12 years old.

Until a person has experienced God for them self Christianity is nothing more then something they learned from a textbook